$h*! Your Man Won't Say

Description

For the nice guys who aren't speaking up to their significant others. It's time to be significant.

Theme by Miguel - Art by Diana
  1. Relationship helpers?

    Relationship helpers?

    Reblogged from t-avo with 960 notes | Permalink

  2. zaoe-tavo:

    HUGE GIVEAWAY! HUGE GIVEAWAY! HUGE GIVEAWAY! HUGE GIVAWAY!

    do not delete the text, only the pictures show up on your blog

    Hey guys we decided to do another giveaway because our last giveaway was so successful. Most of the items listed below are brand new and we got them for Christmas. You all probably think this is fake but honestly we want to help someone else that really needs these items more than we do. We have donated alot of things to charities but we figured we would help one of you guys out instead! (: p.s. our previous urls were aloeza and fabmelous

    THE GIVEAWAY DRAWING WILL BE COMPLETELY RANDOM (THROUGH A RANDOM GENERATOR)

    Rules:

    Must be following zaoe & t-avo

    You may reblog as much as you’d like! We are keeping track of how many times you have reblogged the giveaway.

    REBLOGS ONLY

    no likes please

    We are shipping world wide and for free to the winner

    If you have any questions just message us HERE or HERE

    GIVEAWAY ENDS ON FEBRUARY 17TH, 2013

    Items:

    Macbook Pro-

    Macbook case-

    Samsung Notebook-

    Big camera lens (canon)-

    Small camera lens (canon)-

    Iphone 5 (64g)-

    Iphone 4s (32g)-

    Ipad 3 (32g) -

    Iphone 4s cases (all together)-

    Steve Madden shoes (size 8.5)-

    Grey Vans girls (size 7.5)-

    Black North Face-

    Coach purse-

    Coach wallet-

    Vera Bradley wallet x2-

    Vera Bradley keychain wallet-

    Vera Bradley purse-

    Vera Bradley duffle bag (large)-

    Looking for Alaska book-

    Perks of being a wallflower book-

    All giftcards:

    Reblogged from therehastobesomethingelsetosay with 246,959 notes | Permalink

  3. "The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together."

    - Barbara de Angelis

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  4. "If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on."

    - Steve Jobs

    11 notes | Permalink

  5. "Why is it,” he said, one time, at the subway entrance, “I feel I’ve known you so many years?”
    “Because I like you,” she said, “and I don’t want anything from you."

    - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 

    1 note | Permalink

  6. "I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."

    - Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

    5 notes | Permalink

  7. "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

    - Jess C. Scott, The Intern

    105 notes | Permalink

  8. Duh! Your Man Doesn’t Like Your Ex-es

    This should not come as a shock, Ladies, but your man does not (and will never) like your ex-lovers. Period.

    He might say he’s cool with them, but if he’s really into you, he is not at all cool with those losers. He’s thinking about punching them in the face.

    Here’s how you’ll know. Tell your man a (true) story about one of your ex-boyfriends. It could be anything. It could be something from long ago, or a conversation you had with your ex-boyfriend the other day. If you’re the chatty type who likes to share information anyway, so much the better, because you’ve probably talked many times already about how you’ve recently interacted with your ex-boyfriend, all to your current mate’s boiling point. (Note: Hey, no worries. We aren’t here to judge. We at S#!t Your Man Won’t Say applaud your honesty).

    But if your man doesn’t reply to your anecdote, or barely gives you a verbal response (“Hmm”, “Unh huh”) or changes the subject, then he’s probably ignoring the anecdote to keep himself from blowing a gasket. And that’s just not good for his blood pressure. 

    Many women will say, “Oh, well, I shouldn’t bring it up then.” Right, but that looks like you’re hiding stuff. The solution is to face it directly and talk honestly about it, “Ya know…I’d probably be concerned if you were seeing your cutie pie ex-girlfriend for lunch, but this thing with (ex-boyfriend’s name) is over for me. I don’t think about him that way.” Get the dialogue started.

    If you sense a problem, be proactive. Don’t let things fester.

    4 notes | Permalink

  9. Relationships vs. Partnerships

    The big mistake men make in relationships is not sharing. This is obvious and, quite frankly, the major point of this blog. What men (and women, for that matter) have to do is look at their relationships as partnerships. To do this, couples need to share not only their thoughts and feelings but also their hopes, dreams, and ambitions. This is for a serious and loving relationship. If you’re into something casual, well, that’s a different subject. Do whatever you like.  But for the serious stuff, it takes some help because love requires work and attention. Men in relationships try to do everything on their own and/or don’t pitch in to help their mates.  Men in partnerships are agreeable about sharing the labor, and so they talk more, tell their partners what they need to make things fun. Sharing as partners facilitates effective communication.

    3 notes | Permalink

  10. If effective communication forms the basis of a solid and loving relationship, then it’s important to understand what has happened when there seems to be a communication breakdown.  For some men, this is a difficult assessment to make. It’s not that we are always oblivious to the fact that we are not communicating well (although sometimes we ARE clueless), it might be a situation in which our focus is elsewhere.  This isn’t about a wandering mind or a wayward heart. This is about the guy who is making “big plans” for the future and, in his mind, he is thinking of his Sweetie, thinking about how happy they will be together, and working to reach the goals he has set. Unfortunately, he hasn’t told his Sweetie what he’s doing and so, from her end of things, he seems content to keep everything to himself, bottled up.  She thinks he’s not talking to her, and when she confronts him on this, he might get confused or defensive.  In these times, it might be helpful to find out if he has plans for the future or some other sort of internal dialogue that is keeping him at bay. As nutty as it sounds, he’s thinking about his Sweetheart so much, he might have forgotten to tell her.  Again, sometimes guys are just inattentive. But sometimes we just don’t realize that we need to share what’s going on in our roomy skulls.

    If effective communication forms the basis of a solid and loving relationship, then it’s important to understand what has happened when there seems to be a communication breakdown.  For some men, this is a difficult assessment to make. It’s not that we are always oblivious to the fact that we are not communicating well (although sometimes we ARE clueless), it might be a situation in which our focus is elsewhere. 

    This isn’t about a wandering mind or a wayward heart. This is about the guy who is making “big plans” for the future and, in his mind, he is thinking of his Sweetie, thinking about how happy they will be together, and working to reach the goals he has set. Unfortunately, he hasn’t told his Sweetie what he’s doing and so, from her end of things, he seems content to keep everything to himself, bottled up.  She thinks he’s not talking to her, and when she confronts him on this, he might get confused or defensive.  In these times, it might be helpful to find out if he has plans for the future or some other sort of internal dialogue that is keeping him at bay.

    As nutty as it sounds, he’s thinking about his Sweetheart so much, he might have forgotten to tell her.  Again, sometimes guys are just inattentive. But sometimes we just don’t realize that we need to share what’s going on in our roomy skulls.

    2 notes | Permalink | Hi-Res

  11. "The first duty of love is to listen."

    - Paul Tillich

    3 notes | Permalink

  12. "A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."

    - Kenneth A Wells

    2 notes | Permalink

  13. There is a tremendous difference between “a man who is withholding his thoughts and feelings” versus “a man who is being quiet”.  The first one is about actively withholding, and keeping things to himself. He may not be keeping dangerous things, or even keeping secrets, but his feelings should be an important component of healthy communication. If he’s not sharing those, things can go sideways in a hurry because what you’ll find is that he’s keeping those feelings from YOU.  A hint as to whether this is happening is when you confront him about this, he says something along the lines of, “Well, I’m not withholding my feelings from you, in particular — I’m not sharing my thoughts and feelings with ANYBODY.” Truth is, you don’t care about “anybody”, and you shouldn’t. It’s still a tacit admission that he’s not sharing. In fact, his justification that he shares with no one at all just makes it a bigger problem.   The second one (“being quiet”) could very well be harmless. Sometimes people (even men!) have to process situations and ideas. Some of us are rather slow, methodical. Others just want to be sure of what we want to say before we say it.  And some of us aren’t thinking anything at all, which explains perfectly well why we aren’t talking. Remember: “quiet” is probably okay; “withholding” is usually not.(Image Source: The Good Men Project)

    There is a tremendous difference between “a man who is withholding his thoughts and feelings” versus “a man who is being quiet”.  The first one is about actively withholding, and keeping things to himself. He may not be keeping dangerous things, or even keeping secrets, but his feelings should be an important component of healthy communication. If he’s not sharing those, things can go sideways in a hurry because what you’ll find is that he’s keeping those feelings from YOU.  A hint as to whether this is happening is when you confront him about this, he says something along the lines of, “Well, I’m not withholding my feelings from you, in particular — I’m not sharing my thoughts and feelings with ANYBODY.” Truth is, you don’t care about “anybody”, and you shouldn’t. It’s still a tacit admission that he’s not sharing. In fact, his justification that he shares with no one at all just makes it a bigger problem. 
     
    The second one (“being quiet”) could very well be harmless. Sometimes people (even men!) have to process situations and ideas. Some of us are rather slow, methodical. Others just want to be sure of what we want to say before we say it.  And some of us aren’t thinking anything at all, which explains perfectly well why we aren’t talking. Remember: “quiet” is probably okay; “withholding” is usually not.

    (Image Source: The Good Men Project)

    3 notes | Permalink

  14. Your Man Won’t Tell You…

    There are many men who will not tell you when they’re jealous. This is a frustrating issue for both sides, mainly because this means a jealous-but-silent man is allowing his jealousy to fester, but also because his partner doesn’t know anything is wrong.  This means that the behavior he finds offensive may continue.  Often, men do not discuss feelings of jealousy because: they are afraid of looking weak, they don’t want to stir up an argument, or they don’t think it will do any good.  He may be feeling vulnerable.

    One way to combat this is to think about the relationship from the perspective of the trusty golden rule: “Do unto your partner as you would have them do unto you.”  If you wouldn’t like for your partner to do what you’re doing, perhaps you should have a conversation with your mate about it.

    Once again, this does not remove a man’s responsibility to communicate. Men, you cannot let your jealousy fester! You have to find a way to have a meaningful discussion with your partner!

    Peace,

    Xavier

    0 notes | Permalink

  15. A Kind Word…

    …can open doors you wouldn’t imagine. A kind word can also open a mouth — like your man’s mouth, which probably stays shut more than you’d want it to when it comes to him expressing his feelings or acknowledging yours. So, today, you should do something for your man that just might make him want to say something to you in response: tell him something nice. Something kind. If he deserves it (and only if he deserves it), you should give him a compliment. No hidden agendas, no grand explanations, just tell him something nice about himself that you think he ought to know today. Tell him something you want him to know. He’ll be glad you did.

    (image source: PicFor.me)

    2 notes | Permalink